There comes a moment in every parent’s journey when they realise their job is not to carry their child through life, but to equip them for the journey on their own. It is in this space that a child asks, “Will you teach me?”
This is not a request for facts and figures, though that is part of it. It is a plea for preparation. The child is looking at the vast, complex world and asking the adult: “Will you show me how to navigate this? Will you teach me how to tie my shoes, but also how to handle a disappointment? Will you show me how to solve a math problem, but also how to mend a broken friendship?”
Teaching, in this context, is an act of profound love and, paradoxically, of letting go. It is a transfer of power. Every time we teach a child to do something for themselves, we make ourselves a little less necessary. This can be difficult for a parent who finds their identity in being needed.
But true teaching requires patience. It is often easier to do the task ourselves than to watch a child struggle with it. It is quicker to tie the shoes, faster to resolve the conflict. However, when we step in and take over, we rob them of the question’s answer. We say, “No, I won’t teach you. I’ll just do it for you!”
To teach is to stand beside them as they try, fail, and try again. It is to provide the tools and then trust them to use them. It is to understand that your greatest legacy is not what you do for your child, but what you equip them to do for themselves. Are you teaching them, or disempowering them?